20140408

"Have you ever wanted to kiss someone so badly that it hurts your skin?"

20140404

Unsteady


Currently:
  • Obsessed with X Ambassadors' Unsteady
  • Still at agency but only once a week due to unnecessary hours at university
  • In saying that so, am currently living off savings
  • Looking to find flexible work hours as a cool bartender
  • Paying off millions of uncalled for toll fines - WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS?!
  • Studying maths all over again for one of my units - have not touched maths since i dropped that subject in year 10
  • New found love for Junot Diaz through his book This Is How You Lose Her - some lines i highlighted:
  • -“And that's when I know it's over. As soon as you start thinking about the beginning, it's the end" 
  • -“but back then, in those first days, I was so alone that every day was like eating my own heart.” 
  • -"He used to sleep with my hair over his face. He used to say it made him feel safe"
  • Still can't get over the amazing experience of ASOT650 - something about travelling overseas with a bunch of friends to attend a festival and to indulge in music, that will send you nostalgic feelings off the radar later in your life
  • Maybe it was that trip to Malaysia for that festival or the just barely passed essay i just received back (i never just barely pass in my essays :(!..) but feeling very reluctant at life
  • Needing motivation
  • Still waiting for Peter Pan to take me to Neverland. 

20140302

PAOLO NUTINI - IRON SKY


I can't express how excited i am for Paolo Nutini's Caustic Love album. I've literally been waiting for him for years, and fuck, this performance.. fuck.

20140124

Reliance is Killed


“Can'ttrustpeople. Won'tdoanygood. They'llkillyoueverytime. They'llkilleachother. They'llkilleveryone.” 
― Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance

20140123

OCD by Neil Hilborn

The first time I saw her...
Everything in my head went quiet.
All the tics, all the constantly refreshing images just disappeared.
When you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, you don’t really get quiet moments.
Even in bed, I’m thinking:

Did I lock the doors? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
Did I lock the doors? Yes.
Did I wash my hands? Yes.
But when I saw her, the only thing I could think about was the hairpin curve of her lips..
Or the eyelash on her cheek—

the eyelash on her cheek—
the eyelash on her cheek.
I knew I had to talk to her.
I asked her out six times in thirty seconds.
She said yes after the third one, but none of them felt right, so I had to keep going.
On our first date, I spent more time organizing my meal by color than I did eating it, or fucking talking to her...
But she loved it.
She loved that I had to kiss her goodbye sixteen times or twenty-four times if it was Wednesday.
She loved that it took me forever to walk home because there are lots of cracks on our sidewalk.
When we moved in together, she said she felt safe, like no one would ever rob us because I definitely locked the door eighteen times.
I’d always watch her mouth when she talked—
when she talked—
when she talked—
when she talked
when she talked;
when she said she loved me, her mouth would curl up at the edges.
At night, she’d lay in bed and watch me turn all the lights off.. And on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off, and on, and off.
She’d close her eyes and imagine that the days and nights were passing in front of her.
Some mornings I’d start kissing her goodbye but she’d just leave cause I was
just making her late for work...
When I stopped in front of a crack in the sidewalk, she just kept walking...
When she said she loved me her mouth was a straight line.
She told me that I was taking up too much of her time.
Last week she started sleeping at her mother’s place.
She told me that she shouldn’t have let me get so attached to her; that this whole thing was a mistake, but...
How can it be a mistake that I don’t have to wash my hands after I touched her?
Love is not a mistake, and it’s killing me that she can run away from this and I just can’t.
I can’t – I can’t go out and find someone new because I always think of her.
Usually, when I obsess over things, I see germs sneaking into my skin.
I see myself crushed by an endless succession of cars...
And she was the first beautiful thing I ever got stuck on.
I want to wake up every morning thinking about the way she holds her steering wheel..
How she turns shower knobs like she's opening a safe.
How she blows out candles—
blows out candles—
blows out candles—
blows out candles—
blows out candles—
blows out…
Now, I just think about who else is kissing her.
I can’t breathe because he only kisses her once — he doesn’t care if it’s perfect!
I want her back so bad...
I leave the door unlocked.
I leave the lights on.

20140121

Phosphoresce


I started 2013 with not many goals except to move on and go with the flow and i truly didn't think that i was going to end that year with many memories and achievements but boy was that far from it. 2013 was definitely one of my better years. The experiences, that i've encountered with jobs, partner, friends, travels, have definitely been my most learning insights. 

Recount of 2013:
  • My best friend Lucy and I, both who were single gals at the time, travelled Vietnam and Thailand together and found our independency and learnt how to be free once again 
  • The festivals that i've been to in 2013, especially Stereosonic have been the most magical moments and that magic was so strong i felt Euphoric
  • Travelled to Singapore with my best friends Aaron and Kevin for my 21st where i spent my last few days before turning the international legal age
  • The friends i've made this year through my partner definitely made me feel apart of a group. My close friends have been so busy this year that i felt sort of secluded and alone but the friends i've made during the end of 2013 made my year more exciting through the many adventures that we had gone through within the ending months of 2013. We all definitely learnt the meaning of YOLO at it's "peak"- We also learnt what 'no regrets' meant as well. 
  • Paul Adrian Le, my partner and best friend, have definitely, without ANY DOUBT, been the reason, as to how i got through 2013. I wouldn't have gotten through this year without him, his caring nature, and his love. I've been on the most amazing ride with this guy and wouldn't know what i'd do without him. We've been through so much and he has taught me so much, not only about the world but about myself
In saying that so, my resolution for 2013 was just to find myself first before i find my place. He has definitely helped me find myself and also through the friends i've made, my best friends and the experiences and travels i went through.
2013 was one rad year. Time for 2014: Resolution - To find my place.

20130917

20130606

Moneyy


Currently:
  • obsessed with Girrafage
  • back to working part time/ casual at the agency
  • getting ready to groove back into study life
  • loving winter's chill
  • distressed with Game of Thrones
  • bulking on zigzag twisties and $2 sale chocolates from Woolies
  • engrossed by street style
  • going no where with saving up for my end of year trip to America
  • planning an away trip for my birthday - no help with the last point
  • happy